


I am Testing You

by Lovefushsia



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Cuddles, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Needles, Post-Episode: The Abominable Bride, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 16:18:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5934861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovefushsia/pseuds/Lovefushsia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John insists on taking some blood after he learns of Sherlock's drug use.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I am Testing You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bunnyofnegativeeuphoria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnyofnegativeeuphoria/gifts).



John had Sherlock sitting on his chair, comfy, nothing to disturb them too much. And he had his small medical kit by his side. “Ok, roll it up. Either arm will do.” He stood with his arms folded over his chest.

“John, please, must we?” Sherlock said with a sigh.

“Yes.”

“I’m always very careful, I can assure you.”

“That makes me so happy. Now shut up, I’m finding a vein.”

“Really it’s not worth it, they’ve always been hard to find.” But he was rolling up his sleeve.

“You don’t seem to have had any problems. Now hold still, this is happening.” John found the vein he needed. He eased the needle in so carefully Sherlock didn’t flinch, but then he was an old hand at this, probably didn’t feel a thing. John shivered as Sherlock’s blood filled the vial. He slowly withdrew the needle and pressed a small cotton bud to Sherlock’s skin, then stared at his friend for a moment too long.

“I’ve disappointed you,” Sherlock said softly.

“You’re damn right you have! Sherlock, when will you realise that you’ve been risking... _everything_ all this time, every time you’ve... stuck yourself with a needle and-” He couldn’t finish. He couldn’t bear to think of it, of Sherlock lying there in some den of squalor, injecting... risking himself in every way. John closed his eyes, breathed, tried to calm himself. He wouldn’t allow himself to fear that it would happen again. This was it now. No more drugs. Mycroft had asked him to look after Sherlock, and by God he would do just that.

“What will you do if I’m not clean?” John’s heart flipped at the words. He couldn’t consider that.

“We’ll work it out. Together,” he said, after a moment.

“John,” Sherlock said quietly, laying a hand on John’s arm. “I never really thought about it at the time. There was always a purpose.”

“No, Sherlock, you didn’t think. You just went into your sodding mind palace and to hell with the rest of us.”

Sherlock stood suddenly and took John by the shoulders. “I’m sorry, for putting you through this. All of it. It wasn’t what I thought I’d be asking of you when we met.”

“You don’t ask anything of me, not really. I’m helping because I want to, I need to for both our sakes.” It was hard to get through so many words when Sherlock was touching him. John lifted his shoulders a little, looked away from Sherlock’s intense gaze. He packed up his medical kit and carefully placed the blood into its secure packaging.

“What did you do Sherlock, before we met. Who did you have?” John watched his friend and his stomach fluttered as Sherlock’s face changed. His eyes met the floor and his lips pursed. John could almost imagine a flush creeping up his cheeks, but that didn’t happen to Sherlock, he was master of his emotions. John wanted desperately to comfort him, as he often found himself itching to do, once the anger subsided. He held back.

“I don’t know John, I had myself. I did ok.”

John felt the cold seep across his chest and down his arms. He hated this. “Sherlock, I’m here now. So let me look after you, please?”

“I do. I _am_ ,” Sherlock replied stubbornly, shaking out his arm in John’s direction. He looked up at John with a frown. “So, this isn’t just because it’s your job?” he asked.

He really had no idea how John felt. “Of course not,” John said softly. “Why can’t you see that there are people who care for you?” He stopped himself short. He wanted to say so much more but he didn’t know where to start. It wasn’t what Sherlock wanted to hear anyway. Maybe what he needed to hear though. John looked back to his friend. “It’s unconditional, you should know that by now.” John’s words were quiet, but he was sure Sherlock had heard him.

“I... I didn’t,” Sherlock started, with uncharacteristic hesitancy, and John reached out to him finally. Touching a hand to his shoulder, feeling the silky fabric beneath his fingers. He stared at his own hand, marvelling at the fact that he had done it at all. He didn’t touch Sherlock, that didn’t happen, not like this.

“Please?” he whispered.

Sherlock’s eyebrows furrowed together, his eyes starting to water and John pulled him in, just wrapped both arms around him and held to him. After a moment he felt his friend’s hands slip around his back and clutch to his jumper, his chin resting on John’s shoulder. John sighed. He could feel Sherlock’s heart beating near to his own, chests pressed together. He had never felt so warm as he did now, and he was terrified to let go.


End file.
